Changing beliefs is a radical act.
Creating beliefs is a radical act.
The best we can hope for is to help those closest to us to open up to the possibility of creation, intentional creation of these things we call beliefs.
This post is a follow up to this question:
‘Can you teach/show/motivate someone that is OK with good enough to be extreme?’
I began to engage on this question in a prior post about beliefs and the cognitive games we have going on by default in our heads.
This post is the follow up to that original article.
Based upon a recent Forbes article, it is estimated that we are exposed to at least 4000 ads per day. Those are overt attempts at managing your beliefs, albeit in a variety of subtle and in many ways subconscious ways. Even if this statistic is halfway true, that’s a ton of ads per waking hour if you are an average American consumer.
Now consider, the beliefs and ideas that you are exposed to that are not overtly advertised. We are being bombarded constantly with opinions vying for your adoption and inclusion into your belief system.
There are strata to our beliefs and the depth of this strata is tied to the grip we hold on our underlying truths. We have been instilled with a number of truths from the onset of our first breath of life, perhaps even before being born according to some studies.
Classes of truths can range from:
- universal,
- to humanistic,
- to planetary,
- to societal,
- to cultural,
- to national,
- to regional,
- to local,
- to familial,
- to personal,
- and even unconsciously personal truths.
Building this list of truths begins to show the range of agreements that we have as individuals and as collections of communities. Truths can be judged like anything else to be either good or bad or just truths as information for consideration.
The typical definition of a truth is if it is a fact or the reality of a situation.
Facts and reality are both things that are also open to interpretation. Just ask someone what happened during an intense game, say a playoff game involving a controversial play? For example. Brett Hull back in 1999 was deemed to have possession of the puck even as his foot was in the crease. We can cite all sorts of recent NFL games – perhaps even a World Cup match or two. Depending upon your perspective – the facts and reality are up for grabs.
So I do not particularly find this traditional definition of ‘truth’ all that helpful. As a belief, truth is for me the following:
- Exceptionally personal
- Examined and not a default anymore
- Useful
- Underpinned by my belief
- Open to being revisited
Now much like in the movie, The Matrix – we can and do download all sorts of truths from our first breaths. The trick is to begin to recognize these truths and examine them as they come into our lives. This realization is something that can take a lifetime, and for some – the realization never comes.
For those of us that do recognize that the truths we hold in our minds and hearts are in fact agreements we have made with ourselves – we open ourselves up to some true transformations. Stepping out of longstanding truths and beliefs, even to just examine them for a few minutes results in a deeper appreciation of the truth – possibly a deeper conviction of the belief too.
Stepping through the truths you hold dear begins with an increased awareness of what those beliefs in reality and facts are for you. The self examination from there is really all about asking these questions:
- Is this really my truth or someone else’s?
- Have I ever really considered any other alternatives to this being the truth?
- How is this truth useful to me?
- Do I believe this to be true in my heart and my mind?
- Could I revisit this down the line or could there be a point where this may not be so true for me anymore?
So back the example above regarding
‘Can you teach/show/motivate someone that is OK with good enough to be extreme?’
— if the person is open to examining their inherent beliefs and open to re-evaluating their position on facts and reality.
Then you have a shot at helping them discover new ways of experiencing the world.
There are all sorts of tools, methods, and lifestyle models to help people achieve/become/reduce/eliminate whatever they need to become a better version of themselves.
Fantastic opportunities do exist to create conditions that give everyone the absolute best chances to succeed. This is where I spend a lot of my time both at home and at work. Much of my time in the past few years has been in support of this notion of maximizing my chances for achieving and being what I want.
So to answer the damn question already – the answer is:
- Yes – you can show/teach/motivate someone to change their beliefs and truths
- Yes – it takes the person involved to create a belief in the truth that supports the desired outcome
- No – you cannot make someone believe in a new truth without their consent
However, I believe very strongly that attempting to change others is not ‘my job.’ The best I can do is to continue to evolve myself, and to demonstrate how to best help those around me to do the same.
I do believe in my heart that many people nowadays feel exceptionally weakened in their resolve, that their mission in life is covered by a bunch of boxes and dirty laundry, and in many ways folks are truly doing their absolute best while operating at less than their ideal state.
Everyone needs a helping hand, a little sunshine to show the way, an encouraging word, possibly a model or two to follow, a good night’s sleep, a proven approach to help them arrive at a better version of themselves, a little belief in their ability to take the next step in some direction, and then you may see some movement forward.
Then again, I have seen some of the most talented people in my life deliberately self destruct. Even when they had way more advantages working for them than many others.
The difference in many of these self destructive cases has been the limiting beliefs that they knowingly and many times unknowingly held onto.
Beliefs can be used as instruments for expansion of the power to create or as fences to keep the genius we all have likely limited and underutilized.
As leaders, as parents, and as individuals – the freedom to create is a God given right. This notion of being able to create is something I will be expounding upon. Beliefs are throttles that govern this power to create that we all have. Even the beliefs themselves are created by us.