I am writing on the cusp of a week to myself.
I am looking at week where I will be able to spend the time with many that are closest to me in my life.
A week off from my work responsibilities.
A week of whatever I want.
And I am overwhelmed by the prospects in front of me. To the point of a temporary freeze. Have you ever had so much you wanted to do that you were unable to start on any of it?
The familiar gnawing of needing to want to get it all done. The usual self negotiation that happens for me has started in earnest.
Well, maybe I can get at least half the list done.
I can get at least three things done today, one big thing and then two smaller things.
I should plot this all out, yet again – where do I start. Now starting is a source of stress, and another thing to put down on my list.
Where am I going to start my list this time? Is it my white board in my home office? Maybe I should use my Evernote so that I can add to it regardless of where I am… Wait, I have my journal that I carry everywhere, what about somewhere in the back of that thing. I could use OmniFocus even thought that system is languishing as I came skidding into home plate for this vacation… Shit!
This was my day the other day as I began to consider what I would DO over the next week with myself and the huge blocks of unscheduled time. Unscheduled time is something that rarely happens, I even schedule the unscheduled time – if that makes any sense. I can and do block days for flex time where nothing gets filled in except that it is what I consider a sabbatical timeframe where the usual routines and habits may or may not apply.
A week of this is daunting, as I only have this week before going back to work for what will surely be an especially intense next few months as we race to the end of the calendar year. September on is always the time to crush it at work given my industry, this year is already forecasted to be especially intense in a variety of ways.
So this week is it until another big block of downtime is supposed to happen at the tail end of the year during the holiday period.
Man, my neck is tight just writing this out and reliving the vibes as I was considering my options for the next few days.
I had not even booked a spot for the vacation getaway. Do I do a massive roadtrip – like a 20 hour-er? I have seen some friends on Facebook doing really cool roadtrips, and man – that looks incredible. I could rent a very slick car/SUV (another decision!) and hammer the highway like we did a couple years back on our way to Destin. Then again, I am burning down the time in the car, and the vacation is going to be drive times and more pressure to hit the next stop. Yet – think of all the adventures we could have along the way… I need to check to see how many free car rentals I have, I guess.
Wait – no. I can do a staycation. God I hate that term. We can have fun at the house with a couple of day trips here in DFW. I have passes to a bunch of stuff that will keep us busy and definitely having fun outside and inside. Those Groupons are about to expire anyway…way less stressful too. But what will my guys think? Is this cool enough? Is it really going to be fun? I bet they will be told when they go back to school that it will suck by their friends standards. I do live in Frisco where many times – it is comparison contest in terms of the kids and everything associated with them. Damnit. I need to take a walk. This is not supposed to be stressful… Writing this is reliving it too. A pit is developing in my throat. Someday I’ll write about how our bodies are smarter than we realize…
I know, I’ll stop thinking about this vacation thing and hit the gym. And I did. I hit it hard, and it was awesome. This is usually the time for my solitude, and to clear things out for an hour or so. This day, the things I had to get done continued to peek behind the curtain that I usually pull as I enter the gym. I was able to beat back the nagging of the Do Monster. My busyholicism was ready to return when I exited the glass doors fo my gym. I could feel it waiting.
Well, I wrapped the gym up strongly, knowing that I had a few decisions to make when I did the walk from those glass doors to my car…
Somewhere from the time I left the gym to the time I returned home – after doing a few errands – I decided to stop thinking.
I decided to start taking action and to drain my brain of all of the swirl. I did not concern myself with the whiteboard vs the journal vs some electronic system. I told myself as I pulled in that I would just get started. After all, that is what I preach from time to time with anyone that is ready to hear me. On this day, I was my own client…
So I made sure my sons were situated as far as their activities in the home for the next 30 minutes. I did not bother with a pomodoro this time. I had already decided that I was going to get started…
So I sat down in my office.
Took three very deliberate deep breaths and I started in.
I found an old school legal pad, and I started writing out everything I could in a flash of about three minutes. I had about ten lines and was now frozen.
I have had this happen before…
I got up, physically moved myself to the kitchen and brewed up a coffee. Not my usual butter infused concoction. Straight up black this time. Waited for the Keurig to do its thing. I deliberately kept my head clear while waiting. Grabbed the coffee, and sat back down. Physical movement usually resets my vibe, this is likely true of many of you.
Hit another 20 or so actions that I know are languishing. Dry cleaning. Fixing the wood / decking by my pool pump. Getting my propane tanks filled up again. Finishing off my instagram coursework. Laundry for me. Then for each of my sons.
Next thing I know – I have easily 30 things on this ranging from the mundane to the profound. You know what did not make the list? Figuring out my vacation plans themselves.
Queue the tension again. SHIT.
So I here I sit contemplating my options…
Finally, I decide that I am not going to do anything like a 20 hour drive. I am going to stay home a few days to work on exploding some clarity bombs for myself, while also doing a few day trip things with my guys. Then I made an agreement with myself, that I would hit the beach here in TX. I had been scouring a variety of options ranging from South Padre to the coasts of Alabama. I had been talking about Galveston last week, but that was totally unreachable given the lack of availability of rooms both at hotels and on AirBnB…
One more shot then on AirBnB, and holy shit – there was a spot that was ideal in terms of location and in terms of pricing that was not there even a few hours prior as I was speeding past the ‘throw your tent in my backyard’ options down there.
So I booked it on the spot. Decision done.
Back to my list building…which has continued off and on for the last day – with my picking a few things off along the way.
So where did I end up?
I ended up with a laundry list of things to do, that I can now work with. My head is empty. The tension is gone. I’ve disarmed my Do Monster.
The irony of building a to do list like this is that it takes away the stress of doing for me, as I no longer and grinding on maintaining the list itself. David Allen hammers this point, and I went old school to disarm myself here. This shit works.
You know what else has happened? I am super relaxed about this vacation now, I know what I need to do, and that is to let go of it all. What needs to happen will be done, and it is going to be so damn epic. The last time I did that was when I was in Jamaica, and I witness a number of miracles that still resonate with me to this moment.
Blessings abound – so get moving!