Yesterday, I recapped the struggle that I had to get things moving forward in a way that was comfortable and ‘in flow.’ Well, while I was on the treadmill walking – I found a couple of podcasts from Sean Wes, as he recently unlocked his entire podcast catalog that was previously tied to a membership program.
His content is very practical and very useful, yesterday was no exception. I found a podcast on how to enrich self discipline. The podcast was very helpful, and one of the ideas that I stumbled across was that self discipline is based upon self respect.
Your level of self discipline is directly related to your level of self respect.
I had never contemplated this as a concept until this podcast, and it has me spun up in a few directions right away. I think this is an exceptionally useful concept as it turns the ownership right back on the individual. It also points to an underlying root that I have struggled to understand.
Why is it that I am sometimes unable to turn down that extra piece of candy? Or to go to bed when I am clearly overtired, but I want to do just one more thing on my list…
I have historically operated from a judgmental stance when I miss the target, and I chalk it up to fundamental weakness. I have never considered that I am lacking respect for myself. This is a jarring concept that definitely triggered this post independent of any editorial calendar.
Here are a couple of ideas for you to ponder too – I cite Jocko as some inspiration for a point on self discipline.
Self discipline is the key to transcending our humanity. Jocko characterizes it as freedom, maybe he meant independence. Either way, it is an interlocking Dimension of Life, that joins up our inner and outer worlds in a way that only those that exercise discipline can truly appreciate.
It is a way of living artfully.
Demonstrating a perseverance to move beyond our base instincts and temptations, and into an ongoing air of self control is predicated on having a deep appreciation of who you are are. Truly knowing yourself makes this so much less frustrating and stressful. I am not going to say that it makes it easier, for me getting to know my more fundamental self – has not resulted in things being ‘easier’ for me when it comes to self control. Then again, I’m still early on in the journey of truly understanding and appreciating my core self.
So what is self respect? Well, it underpins love as Dr Steven Hayes discusses, and I recapped in this more recent post. He describes it as ‘standing with yourself.’
To me this means that we must accept ourselves as we truly are – without judgement. However, self respect is not without self reflection and self assessment. There is a subtle but profound difference.
Honest and authentic self awareness and self assessments can be conducted with love of one’s self without prejudice. I aspire to reach this point, as I am pretty harsh on myself on many days. This is my self programming that I continue to unwind.
Even with my sometimes limiting self judgement, I believe that self respect can be achieved. With self respect – self control can be exercised as an instrument to be wielded over our thoughts, words, and actions – resulting in outward self discipline.
Self awareness and self love fuel…
Self respect which fuels …
Self control which fuels …
Self discipline which fuels …
Success, self realization, happiness, and legacy in so much of our lives.
Self respect and self discipline are interlinked and must be so for sustained resilience and long term success as a fully human, being.
So with this knowledge of the interlocking of self respect with self discipline, the next time the self discipline breaks down – I’ll be asking a new set of questions, instead of why my self discipline broke down…
Instead more useful questions such as are going to start popping up as I self reflect:
- Was the level of self control too high or too low given my need for self discipline in this situation? Stated another way, am I putting too much pressure on myself?
- Does the envisioned discipline truly align with my sense of self love or is there in an inherent disrespect in play here?
- Am I truly aligned with the desired outcome here? Is my underlying ‘why’ that fuels the apparent self respect and self discipline a truth that gets me energized or is it catabolizing my energy? If it aint a net positive, something is not aligned properly.
The clarity that a lack of self of discipline is fundamentally a mismatch of my inner truth and self love is a freeing notion.
Rather than criticizing myself for being weak, I can use this concept to ask more useful questions that will harden my discipline for those targets I’ve established for myself.
As an added benefit, the level of stress is sure to go down as this is another avenue to eradicate the self judgement that underpins the stress that I do have in my life.