Have you ever thought of the answer to this question?
What is the most valuable gift you can give?
This is a question I have been pondering for well over a year.
A few typical answers that have come to mind …
Time
Time is a seemingly finite resource, although I am increasingly changing my attitude towards this resource. I have had a few conversations with a few very close people in my life – where we have debated this idea of time.
How we take it for granted, until it is too late.
Many folks live their lives with no true appreciation for how time works, the laws of it, and how you can uncover all sorts of time. There are numerous ways to multiply the amount of time dedicated to your cause.
This notion of time being a finite resource, yet a resource that can be multiplexed in seemingly infinite ways is one that I will dig into as part of a future series focused on time. The fact is this – we all have a set amount of time that we will be alive with a high quality of life.
This is different than the amount of time available to us, and this difference is subtle. Dedicating your time as a gift is a profoundly valuable gift – yet I do not think it is the most valuable thing you can give.
Money
In this day and age of rampant consumerism, money and financial resources are especially pedestal’d.
This notion of value exchange, and gifting this as a resource is an obviously important gift. However, money is not an absolutely valuable resource that is guaranteed to be of value down the line. It takes expertise and discipline to ensure that this resource is curated and encouraged to blossom. This is true of anything that is of value in life.
Many would say – money by itself is not necessarily valuable – it is the quan, baby.
How much are we talking?
Is it a $1,000,000,000.00 that we are talking about?
Would that be the most valuable thing you can give?
What about a $1 trillion?
Everyone has a price right?
While I think crazy commas and zeros is attractive and exciting – I do not think this is the most valuable gift you can give.
You actively listen and engage with someone on a fundamental level when they are having an especially intense day that was unexpected, unwarranted, and incredibly painful. Amazing stuff – you are good people. This is also very valuable in that moment, and in certain circumstances – can be life saving. Speaking of which…
Your Life
Is this the most valuable gift you can give?
Would you sacrifice yourself for another?
Would you sacrifice your life for yourself?
There’s a question to ponder right here… This is an answer that screams – YES THIS IS THE MOST VALUABLE!
For those that have lost someone close to them as an act of sacrifice – I am sure that this is an answer that makes the most sense.
I have not experienced this personally, and this likely would alter my opinion if I had.
Let’s take a second here and consider this in a less dramatic manner – what about those that effectively dedicate their lives to others? This could be your mother that turns into the caretaker for your father and special needs sister right up until her dying day.
What about the committed person that has sworn themselves to a life of poverty and servitude? Is this the most valuable gift you can give to someone else?
Education
So many have used education to uplift their outlook in life, and I include myself as one of those people. Education – no wait – meaningful and useful education is valuable. Papers with names of mid range colleges or online course work that was effectively the same as a garbage Udemy course – that leave the student a hollowed academic with papers – this is not what I consider valuable.
Those that are paper tigers and can take tests better than others – this is not the mechanics I’m talking about.
I am talking about new ways of stringing thoughts together, neurons that get all sorts of Myelin sheathing going and brain plasticity raging. This is the stuff of upgrades and greater realization of yourself. Incredible gift, yet again – it is a tool to be wielded in servitude of another gift or two that is even greater.
So those of you that know me – you understand that I have three sons, and I have a lot invested into them on multiple levels. They make up a large part of my emerging legacy.
I have asked the question that started this post off that presupposed something, that I will highlight here…
The notion of gift giving likely had you in a posture of you giving something away to someone else.
When I first started cuffing this question back and forth like a cat and a mouse – I originally thought of it in the context of my sons – the original question went something like this:
What is the most important gift I can give to my sons?
My original answer was this:
Faith.
I am a spiritual guy, arguably religious although I could land in Church a bit more regularly as of late.
Faith is not necessarily denominational — although in my worldview – when I say faith – I mean a higher power, and in my case it is God as defined in the Catholic faith. This notion that a higher power is there for me, and a power that will assert itself in your life is something that should be welcomed with a commitment to surrender to it. So much more will manifest in life – if you are able to internalize this idea. It is difficult to verbalize, although I may try in a future post.
For those that have experienced this power, this power tied to your faith, you understand the magnetic and multiplicative effect it will have in your life.
As Harry Blackstone Jr said to my father at the Flynn Theater back in 1983 onstage –
‘Power knows power.’
This idea of faith is something I am giving to my sons, and to many others in my life in a variety of ways. However, this is not the most important gift you can give to someone – in my opinion…
Love.
This is the most important thing you can give to someone else. Certainly if you have kids, and on many days – demonstrating unconditional love is truly doing God’s work. Your family, your closest loved ones – this is the most important gift you can give.
What about total strangers? What about a newborn baby type of total stranger? Everyone has a level of lovability that is inherent in their being human.
Act accordingly. Okay, as best you can.
I am not totally convinced that this is the most valuable gift you can give. Although on many days – this is how it feels to me.
The feelz are wild electric currents that can weave miracles out of nothing
when wrapped in a chosen love.
I’ll let that phrase sit there for now…lots to unpack on that topic…down the line.
So I have this book I have started a few times this year. I have stopped reading it just as many times as I have started it. I have read, and re-read this thing a number of times.
I am still on the first 30 pages of this book.
I still cannot tell you exactly why I purchased this particular book, only to say that the author was recommended to me by a coach of mine that helped me unlock a few things that have erupted in all sorts of electricity in my life.
The book itself was not recommended, yet I clicked on it in an Amazonian binge more than likely.
I found myself reading a passage or two while on the beach in Jamaica earlier this year while on a sabbatical. For me – where I am at now – this is the most valuable gift you can give —
~
You are a creator.
~
Creation can be a choice or it can be a reaction.
Creation be based upon someone else’s needs or your own.
Creation is realization of your potential or the result of your limiting beliefs/fears.
Creation is a force that can be multiplied by other forces and gifts outlined above. Yet, if you have a limiting belief on your true superpower of creating things in your life – all the love bestowed upon you will never unlock your true potential.
Do you remember this question – if you had three wishes from a genie in the bottle – what would they be?
If you are like me and many other 8 year olds at heart – you likely answered with ‘my first wish is unlimited wishes…’
Well guess what?
You are a creator. This is like the unlimited wishes answer.
You can create so many seemingly unexpected, unreal, completely coincidental, and in many ways completely outlandish things in your outer and inner worlds – given your ability to create.
You want to create more peace in your life? No problem, create it. Peace in my life is a big time asset nowadays, and this is something Jesus gifted many times over. Incredibly valuable. You can create this in your life too.
You want to be in shape and walk the clock back metabolically in your body. You can create this.
You want to rock out an unreal project at work. Create that too.
Breakthroughs abound, choosing to create this in your life or those around you – all in play as you come to understand this.
You are a creator.
This.
This is the most valuable gift I can give.
Do you think the answer of value and of gift giving depends on who is giving? What about who is receiving?
Originally when I was kicking this around – perspective dictated the answer I had landed upon.
That was until I landed up on this notion of Being A Creator. This is the most valuable gift you can give yourself, as well as to those around you.
How does one live out this gift giving to others, for example?
I find myself rarely using absolutes anymore.
The nevers, cannots, and no’s just do not roll any longer as they used to. When I am talking with those I love the most in my life – I am exceptionally careful about instilling any limiting beliefs when it comes to being able to create.
Now when I get a project brought home from school by one of my sons, I really seek to understand their creative process. Sources of inspiration. The outcome they expected before they started. The satisfaction of doing the creating. The outcome and resulting feeling they arrived at at the end. Perhaps none of that happened, and they just went with it. That works just as well as a conversation too.
All fascinating dimensions to consider when bringing along children.
This is true of colleagues. This is true of those kiddos I coach on the soccer fields. All of it is creative, and on some days it is unconsciously streamed.
Remember Michael Jordan when he was truly in flow on the court. He was creating all over the place, and even the announcers sometimes used that language. Those are the moments you likely remember most vividly. Why is that?
What about the last live show you went to in a small venue of a slightly known act? These are people that are creating genuinely and nakedly on stage, and when you witness some talent thrown into the creation – pure captivation. Why is that?
It is because we all know somewhere, latently for many, that we do have this power to create. When we witness it in real life – it is seemingly supernatural, yet amazingly reassuring. This is why we clap and cheer those moments so hard. Or is it the riff that was jammed that you truly enjoyed? For me, the love of live music was always about the music. Now I understand it is that yes, yet I can enjoy a new band on any given night and thoroughly enjoy the alchemy exploding onstage…
When someone says – I have started to write based upon reading your blog. You have no idea how f-ing PUMPED I get when I hear this.
When someone says – I have begun lifting again as I am turning 35, 40, or even 50 – as a result of some of the stuff you have said – I am PUMPED for you.
When someone says – I am excited about getting a new job after losing my last one due to unexpected layoffs — all because of that post you wrote up — yeah man, I’m pumped. PUMPED.
When someone reaches out and asks for some on the side coaching and mentoring, as they know they can be doing more for themselves – I jump at the chance, as there is a glimmer of hope for that person to recognize this greatest gift they already have in hand.
They have a chance of understanding this power of creation.
You are writing now, hell you may have even become a full blown writer due to something I have done in this online space in the past year. Cool.
You lifting heavy now bro? Cool.
Getting after that new job, or even better – a new career that has you on fire? Cool.
It is not about any of that shit.
Those are sweater vest outcomes.
It is definitely very cool to have a six pack. It is incredible to possess the mental clarity afforded by a daily writing habit. A career that you are manifesting as you wish each day – also incredible.
All valuable gifts.
Yet, my excitement is not for those things. It is the knowledge that as you begin to experience this power of creation in your own life, albeit in a limited area of your life – such as physical fitness – that you come to understand this…
That you are a creator.
So keep writing.
So keep lifting.
So keep crushing it at work.
And love, love completely.
And know you have the ability to do it all.
As a creator.
Give this gift to yourself, and then please pass it along.