Core challenges in your work life? What about your personal life? Do you even separate the two? When do you take a fresh look at the challenges that you have? Do you take a spin through them to determine what could be at the root of the issues? Or do you persist forward, largely shoving the issues aside?
This is a post that spells out a process I’ve used over the past few years aiming to drive more happiness into my day to day. It steps through in detail the process, although your process may be a modified version. For me, the process I actually undertook was not linear at all – it was messy, and took me some time to land upon the framework outlined here. The challenges paired with proactive behaviors that tie to my core operating principles have been largely eviscerated from my life.
Two years ago as my family and I underwent the finality of a decision to go through with a divorce – many things were called into question. Certainly, it was a period of dissolution on many levels for me, and it fueled a new round of questions that I have yet to exhaust about many things that were previously taken for granted in my life. What I am finding with these continued questions is all about taking ownership of the design of my life. By cracking open so many questions along the way, I’ve landed upon a few questions – that when strung together – can unlock happiness and meaning in ways that are seemingly unpredictable.
This is where I think there is value worth sharing, given some of these questions I have strung together. I do have some scars that perhaps you can avoid. You likely have some already too. Perhaps, this post can help us both avoid anymore?
As I look back, and as I continue to march forward – I think many of the biggest challenges I have experienced have been due to:
- a ‘default-based’ mindset
- a reliance upon routine / going through the motions
- a lack of energy and focus
Before we go any further, there are other reasons for my past and current challenges – many other reasons. This is not intended to be a complete workup here. I’m focusing on a few key ones to make a point. Also, these challenges I speak of – are not pervasive or evenly distributed across the various dimensions of my life. For example, at work – I’m among the first to question something in the spirit of improving things – even if it is not the most popular of positions. The point of this is the recognition of where I had the biggest challenges, and what was the root cause of those challenges.
The process I have been using in this ongoing self evaluation is roughly like this:
- What did not work?
- This is where I identify the outward challenge or issue.
- Why did this happen?
- This is where I identify the underlying cause of the outward issue. Sometimes the first answer is not the real one, as there could be layers involved here.
- What is the gap?
- This is where I do a comparison against what actually happened versus what could have happened had I been operating consistent with my internal values and vision.
- What am I going to do to improve?
- This is where I identify my next target for improvement. This may be as simple as giving myself some more time to think about things, and to take zero action. Many times, I am lining up the ‘to do’ aiming to close the gap.
There are a couple of things presupposed in this approach – the biggest one being that you have a concrete understanding of your values and of your mission. This means having them written down somewhere, and largely committed to your memory and bones. You know these intrinsically, and if you do not – that is a place to start moving towards. Otherwise, you could be closing a gap that may not really be a gap at all.
If you do not have a truly concrete sense of where you are headed, and how you intend to operate in life to get there – I’ll share some thoughts down the line on this. There is so much garbage out there on the internet on this ‘mission discovery’ topic, that I can share a tip or two to help in this regard.
Back to the self evaluation cycle – so in looking at my three big sources of challenges, I’ve identified some core tenets to ensure a better chance of eliminating the challenges from my life completely. I have cemented corresponding behaviors aimed at fundamentally eliminating the challenge – regardless of the dimension in my life where the challenge is the biggest. This notion of behaving consistently across all areas of my life aiming to counteract the root causes has really helped me.
Here’s how:
- a ‘default-based’ mindset
- Authentic – I’ll lead with authenticity. This means freshly squeezed courage juice being served up each day. The courage to ask the questions as my default posture, rather than starting the day in a default stance of blank stares. This leaves me many days exhausted.
- a reliance upon routine / going through the motions
- Engage – I’ll engage, actively. Routines are now intentional on my part and they are self designed. In my non-work setting – routines are prone to get tossed out the window for no good reason other than to shake them up, even if they are self designed and work well. Routinized living can destroy teams and relationships of all types. Engaging actively has been something of a transformative habit since December, and it has pervasively taken hold across my life. For example, if you ever get me on the phone 1:1 – you will have my undivided attention, I’ll be engaged completely with you. I’m a recovering multi-tasker…and I no longer split time.
- a lack of energy and focus
- Vibrant – I’ll cultivate all manner of increased energy and focus as a high priority. I’m finding increasing amounts of energy tucked in the corners of the internet, podcast hacks, and other suggestions continue to help me flourish in this regard. When I find that the energy is sagging, that is a strong indicator to course correct.
So taking stock of your current challenges in a fresh manner, digging into possible root causes, selecting one root cause to consider, and then framing up an approach to address it – this is the self improvement cycle I’ve been employing across all dimensions of my life.
Do you see a challenge or two from my list that you are also experiencing? Do you default with your mindset? Are you a routine / go through the motions kind of parent or employee? Do you have a generally low sense of energy and vitality when it comes to your vocations?
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